The Angsty Tale of Sadness and Love
by Juunshi
Summary: The epic angsty tale of Nina Elysia Suzy Trisha Winery Elric, the Magical Golden Bunny Rabbit Alchemist, daughter of Edward Elric, girlfriend of Jessica Mustang who is the most manly man ever. Contains angst, sadness, love and pure freaking crack.


**The Angsty Tale of Sadness and Love**

Nina Elysia Trisha Elric is Edward Elrics daughter She doesn't have a mommy because it was Winry and she died in a very heart-rending and angsty fashion but that's all The Author is going to say about it because The Author is a lazy asshole. The Author like to referr to themself as The Author because 3rd person is KEWL.

The Authir doesn't even know how she know about 3rd person if they cant even spelcheck.

The Author will cont8inue the story now.

Ed wanted to name his daughter after dead girls because it brings back the good memories, yet the pain of the memory of their death, sniffle because emo pain is hawt. Nina was such a good pure little girl, and Ed's luvs his mommy so much that creepy incest fans sometimes write about thier extremly nasty icky-poo lemons because ignoring the laws of nature is fun fun fun!!! Ed knows that Elysia isn't dead but she is Hughes daughtter and Hughes is dead SO IT WORKS.

Nina Elysia Trisha Elric has prettyful golden blonde hair just liek her daddy, and big sparkly golden orbs-for-eyes just like her daddy, and wears a ruby-red coat just like her daddy, has a short height just like her daddy and is a pissy little spoiled whiny-voiced bitch just like... er... her... granny. yeah. her granny is... uh... Maria Susan Elric, Trisha's long-lost sister. Cuz that's what a granny is, rite?? Anyways, Maria Susan Elric was the spitting image of Alphonse except Al is a boy and grannies are girls, right? RIGHT??! oh geez, how about none of The Authorses characters have a gender anymoar, except for Nina Elysia Trisha Elric because her boobs are so big that you's have to be blind to not be able to tell that she is a girl. or somethig.

Wow, I created two OCs in one whole day!! I'm so worn out! oh but my creative energy will never rest! so many ideas with no relation to the actual plot of FMA, and SO LITTLE TIEM.

...

I MEAN TIME.

Ed is now happy that he doesn't have a gender because now he can be an Elricest pairing with Al because Ed has been so lonely and needing sex after winwin died, sniffle and because INCEST IS YUMMY. INCEST IS A COOKIE RHITE?!!~ And they have smexeh lemons every days its so fun cuz they get to take turns being the girl and guy, TEEHEE!! and when ed is a girl, he gets BOOBS. BOOBS ARE FEMINININE OR HOWEEVER ITS SPELLED.

meanwile, Nina Elysia Suzy Winifred...wait...what's her name again? oh well, her name is now Nina Elysia Suzy Trisha Winery Elric and she became The Magical Golden Bunny Rabbit Alchemist when she was to...too...tow...i forgot how to spell that one number but she was just 2 years old!! becuase not only could she read at that age, she could also comprehend and remember the complicated eqautions and laws of mass conversions and anatomy and uhhhhhhh logical whasits!!! YAY FOR HER! SHE PRETTY!!

Nina Elysia Suzy Trisha Winery Elric also has a puddy tat fwor a pet! Cuz Looney toons refrences are KAWAII!! now I, or The Author, wait when did The Author stop calling themself The Author oh who cares i'm to lazy too type The Author even tho The Author just is the coolest way to referr to urself.

anywayses, now Nina Elysia Trisha Suzy- I mean Nina Elysia Suzy Trisha Winery Elric is now 14 years old working for the military but living in constant fear of being attacked by that big epic buff guy with the huge nose with a scar on his head. now what was his name...? ...Sacar, or something. that's a dumb name. im changing his name to Joe Jonas because HE'S SO HAWT AND NOT AT ALL A SUSPICIOUS NAME TO USE IN A FMA FIC BY THE WAY IM HIS WIFE IM MRS JOE JONAS LOLZ AND CAPS LOCK IS SO FUNNY HAHAHA!!!1!! and even though so much time has passed since sacar first started hunting down ed and really sacar should be like 55 yrs old or something he should be old and wrinkly and not really wanting to kill people anymore, this pitiful excuse for a plot REQUIRES THAT HE DOESNT AGE.

Nina Elysia Suzy Trisha Winery was walking home from work. and by work, I mean having secret sex with Roy's hawt smexy son named Jessica. that's the most manly name i can think of, a-yup! he was tall, had a gorgeous 6-pack along with being completly muscle-bound and shiny smooth raven-black hair like his daddy-poo only smexyer and glittering dark sappire blue come-hither-and-fuck-me-hard orbs. and he was sexy as hell omg i wish he was MY boyfriend!!!23 He's in the military hes also a state alkhemist hes the Sexy Hawt Buff Chest Alchemist. he is 15 but he;s not the youngest- lots of kids are being enslaved in the military as state alchemists: it's the new cool thang!!

So anyways, Nina Elysia Suzy Trisha Winery was walking home from "work" teeheehee, with her kitty named Sparkles. Then Joe Jonas, previously know as Sacar, who had been stalking her for the past week and watching her change clothes, jumped out from behind the bushes that were oh-so conviently placed besides the road and said "Roar I'm going to kill you with my left arm of justice!!" "Oh hellz noes!!" screamed Nina Elysia Suzy Trisha Winery and she ran away.

Joe jonas gave chase, but accidentally squished Sparkles the kitty becase Nina Elysia Suzy Trisha Winery fed her about 6 times a day and now Sparkles was morbidly obese. "oh shit my you killed my cat its all you're fault joe jonas!!!!!!!!!!!!11" A blinding pink light enveloped Nina Elysia Suzy Trisha Winery Elric as she magically transformed into her true form.

She was really a chimera who had lived in shou tucker's lab as his second attempt to bring back Nina- wait tucker died. oh well! who cares! a nyways, she been combined with the most powerful and sexy animal of all-

The Loch Ness Monster.

However, Nina Elysia Suzy Trisha Winery Elric the Loch Ness Monster was on land. Not water. So she flopped around and gasped because the loch ness monster needs water to breathe. ...I think. Joe Jonas was still blind from Nina Elysia Suzy Trisha Winery's super sexy transformation, so he fell off a cliff and died because he couldn't see where he was going. Then, after Camille saved this fic with her ingenious Loch Ness Monster idea, she ran off and alerted the REAL Amestrian military of this horrible excuse of a story. Roy Mustang came and burned Nina Elysia Suzy Trisha Winery Elric the Loch Ness Monster to ashes and then burned the ashes because you can never be too careful. Camille had already shot 'The Author' dead, so don't worry about THEM writing another fic in this storyline.

"Thanks for the gun, Riza. Oh, but as long as I have it, there's some other stuff I have to shoot." Camille grinned and ran off to shoot:

The already lifeless body of Jessica Mustang, the mention of Shou Tucker the fucker, Winry's death and Elricest in this fic, Dante, just because she's a bitch, Gusty, because, good lord, I want her DEAD, Erica the stalker and Smellabutt the bratty bitch. Lastly, Camille shot the ashes of ashes of Nina Elysia Suzy Trisha Winery Elric because she is a Sue. What better reason to want her deader than dead?

So Fullmetal Alchemist reverted back to its original timeline and plot and everyone went back to normal.

THE END.

* * *

**Written in honor of the world's Sue fics.**

**It was SO much fun to write this. :D**

**Oh, PS I sneaked the name 'mary sue' in. Can you find it? hint: Maria in spanish is ____ and ___ is short for Susan. :D**


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